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Jump-Start Your Day

Tuesday, November 27th, '18

All rights reserved © message by Kris Jackson

 

ARRANGED MARRIAGES

"What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matthew 19:6)

 

In sharing so much this summer with my Malayalee friends I have met many, perhaps most, whose marriages were arranged by their parents. One guy I know was asked by his father if he liked a particular girl that the dad pointed to. "Yes I do", answered the young man, to which his dad said, "I hoped so. Friday will be the engagement and Sunday you will marry". That is a little quick to the Western mindset but the tradition of honoring one's parents' judgment regarding who is "right" for a lifelong partner has its merits. Abraham sent his choice servant to scout a bride for Isaac. "And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her..." (Genesis 24:24) He trusted his father. He prayed for God's will to be accomplished. He knew he was under a generational covenant. And so he waited in anticipation of the gift God would bring him. "Whoso finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22). Arranged marriage is a great arrangement when God is in the arrangement.

 

Don't misread. I know there are relationships that God wasn't a million miles from having anything to do with. Those fall apart quickly. But in most cases Eve is reflected in Adam's eye. There is a miracle connection, things fit. God brought you together and no matter how much you may fight or regret that now, just think way back and remember how it felt in the beginning. The first time Adam saw Eve he knew it was "arranged" - "This is now bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh" (Genesis 2:23). He saw her as his missing other half. It was arranged and it was successful. Adam couldn't complain about Eve not cooking as good as his mother and Eve couldn't gloat about all the other guys she could have married. They had no choice but to make it work. When chemistry was lacking commitment took over. They stuck it out when their paradise became a desolate weed patch. They hung on even though their firstborn son murdered his younger sibling. This "arranged couple" didn't quit though they sewed fig leaves to cover their nakedness and realized each other's horrible dysfunction. Adam and Eve survived the odds.

 

 "What God has joined together, let not man put asunder". The "man" that puts it asunder is usually the husband or wife whose stubborn will fights the arrangement. Marriage is the template for all other relationships. If you can't get it right with the person that is closest, that person so "arranged", the one divinely sent to be your toughest challenge but at the same time your greatest reward, then there is no relationship that will stand, not in business, church or anywhere. One preacher jokingly said, "It's been a great pressure getting to know ya". Forget the pleasure of marriage for a second, what about the pressure? If "all things work together for good to them that love God" then could it not be that He has strategically placed you in a position of friction? It was the rub of the brook that sanded David's "five smooth stones". It is the age-long pressure that turns raw carbon into a diamond. What God arranges is not always a bed of roses and even when it does seem like a bed of roses the roses will have thorns. God can work miracles and He will but while you're in the pressure cooker just remember that God runs the temperature control. Sometimes intimate relationships are satin sheets, sometimes they are sandpaper. Be wise enough to know that both are gifts from above.


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