got Jesus?

 
 

The Bible: He wrote it - we quote it! Why quote others?

Bees gather honey from a lot of flowers so speakers need to gather nectar from a lot of sources

If you haven’t struck oil in the first three minutes, stop boring – George Jessel

The man who never reads will never be read; he who never quotes will never be quoted. He who will not use the thoughts of other men’s brains, proves that he has no brains of his own – Charles Spurgeon

 

 

E-Clips . . . quotes gathered through
three decades of Kris’ reading and study

updated 1/1/15

P

PAIN

Drain your pain! Ventilate, tell God the details. His shoulders are big enough to take it

On the other side of the door of pain is promotion - Mike Murdock

But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world - C.S. Lewis

The Prada bag on someone’s shoulder may look impressive, but it still holds junk. Every person deals with secret pain - Beth Moore

Don’t let the pain of your past punish your present or paralyze your future - Louis Greenup

Your misery becomes your ministry

PALINDROMES

Madam, I'm Adam. (Adam's first words to Eve?)
A man, a plan, a canal – Panama! (The history of the Panama Canal in brief.)
Able was I ere I saw Elba. (Napoleon's lament.)
Mom, Dad.
Malayalam
We panic in a pew
Sir, I demand, I am a maid named iris
Won’t lovers revolt now

Lyrics to “Bob” by Weird Al Yankovich
I, man, am regal a German am I
Never odd or even
If I had a hi-fi
Madam, I'm Adam
Too hot to hoot
No lemons, no melon
Too bad I hid a boot
Lisa Bonet ate no basil
Warsaw was raw
Was it a car or a cat I saw?
Rise to vote, sir
Do geese see God?
"Do nine men interpret?" "Nine men," I nod
Rats live on no evil star
Won't lovers revolt now?
Race fast, safe car
Pa's a sap
Ma is as selfless as I am
May a moody baby doom a yam?
Ah Satan sees Natasha
No devil lived on
Lonely Tylenol
Not a banana baton
No "x" in "Nixon"
O, stone, be not so
O Geronimo, no minor ego
"Naomi", I moan
A Toyota's a Toyota
A dog, a panic in a pagoda
Oh, no! Don Ho!
Nurse, I spy gypsies - run!
Senile felines
Now I see bees I won
UFO tofu
We panic in a pew
Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo
God! A red nugget! A fat egg under a dog!
Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog

PARENTING

Sloppy boy, Dad said, “Quit it, you’re eating like a pig!” Realizing he was raised in the city the Dad asked, “You do know what a pig is don’t you?” “Yes”, said the son, “A pig is a hog’s little boy

Everything in the American home is controlled by switches except the children! - Duke Windsor

Our young men have grown weary of playing sports before empty bleachers - TD Jake

Suzanna Wesley had 17 children. She would spend one day each month, starting with eldest child, and spent the entire day mentoring each child.

King Edward VIII of England quipped, “The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children.” That was almost one hundred years ago

Before I was married I had three theories about raising children. Now I have three children and no theories - John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester

The ultimate absentee father is the one who is dead - TD Jakes

The prodigal son left saying Daddy-O and returned saying “oh Daddy!”

You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back - William D. Tammeus

Diogenes struck the father when the son swore - Robert Burton

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders - Abigail Van Buren

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable - Lane Olinghouse

Although there are many trial marriages...there is no such thing as a trial child - Gail Sheehy

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots.  The other is wings - Hodding Carter, Jr.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out - Erma Bombeck

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. He is more particular....The father is always a Republican towards his son, and his mother's always a Democrat - Robert Frost

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging - Diane Loomans

Likely as not, the child you can do the least with will do the most to make you proud - Mignon McLaughlin

When you teach your son, you teach your son's son - the Talmud

What's done to children, they will do to society - Karl Menninger

If you must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson, hold yourself up as a warning and not as an example - George Bernard Shaw

A father and son were driving along and the father was coming down pretty hard on the teenager for not measuring up to the father's expectations. After a few choice words the father said, "Frankly, I'm just ashamed of you. You still don't have a job. When George Washington was your age he was working hard as a surveyor in the wilderness." This young man, who obviously had no self-esteem issues, quickly fired right back. "Well, put in those terms, Dad, I'm ashamed of you, too. When Washington was your age he was President of the United States."

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140.00 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into $8,896 a year, $741.38 a month, or $171.08 a week. That's a mere $24.24 a day! Just over a dollar an hour. Still, you might think the best financial advice says don't have children if you want to be "rich."  It is just the opposite. What do you get for your $160,140?

“I took a piece of plastic clay and idly fashioned it one day,
And as my fingers pressed it still it moved and yielded to my will.
I came again when days were past, the bit of clay was hard at last.
The form I gave it still it bore, and I could change that form no more.
I took a piece of living clay and gently formed it day by day,
and molded with my power and art, a young child’s soft and yielding heart.
I came again when years were gone and it was a man I looked upon.
And he that early imprint wore and I could change him never more” - author unknown

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them - Rodney Dangerfield

If a man should start out to run seventy years in a straight line, he could not get from under the shadow of his mantel-piece - R.G. Lee

John Hagee said he had a drug problem when he was a kid - his parents drug him to Sunday school, drug him to Sunday AM and PM church, midweek service, revivals and sometimes drug him to the woodshed

Next to God, thy parents - William Penn

PASSION

Yearning power is more vital than earning power

Chase your passion, not your pension - Denis Waitley

More important than what you drive is what drives you!

Most of us are concerned about life after death when we ought to be interested in life after birth. Are you truly living? Are you making a living or living a life?

Nothing is more frustrating than taking a trip to nowhere. All roads lead there but you don’t know when you arrive nor where you are when you get there - Miles Munroe

Aspire to inspire before you expire!

One black college coach stated that he likes to recruit players that are mobile, agile and hostile

Here’s a good barometer for leadership - do you have to push yourself to start or push yourself to stop? The successful are passionate workers - the first to work in the morning and the last to leave at night

Associate yourself with fire-lighters not fire fighters

There are tears that are no more than surface slush of an iceberg - E.M. Bounds

There are many things catch my eye, but only a few things catch my heart - Tim Redmond

Enthusiasm comes from two Greek words “en” meaning within and “theos” meaning God. So enthusiasm is having God within - that’s God-given dreams and God-given drives

I’m impressed with passion that Saint Paul had. He said - “so as much as in me is, I am ready to preach the gospel to you that are at Rome also” (Rom 1:15). See, you have to have the want to before you even need the can-do

When thou prayest, rather let thy heart be without words, than thy words without a heart - John Bunyan

You taught me to be nice, so nice that now I am so full of niceness, I have no sense of right and wrong, no outrage, no passion - Garrison Keillor

Our passions are the winds that propel our vessel. Our reason is the pilot that steers her. Without winds the vessel would not move and without a pilot she would be lost

It is easy to fly into a passion - anybody can do that - but to be angry with the right person to the right extent and at the right time with the right object and in the right way - that is not easy, and it is not everyone who can do it - Aristotle

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess - Oscar Wilde

“I often wonder why it is”, asked an Anglican bishop, “Why everywhere the Apostle Paul went they had a revolution, while everywhere I go they serve a cup of tea?”

Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire - Arnold Glascow

We boil at different degrees - Emerson

PAST

You do not move ahead by constantly looking in a rear view mirror. The past is a rudder to guide you, not an anchor to drag you. We must learn from the past but not live in the past - Warren Wiersbe

Past mistakes need to be cremated, not embalmed

View people in regard to present to future rather than past to present

PASTORAL

If some members aren’t wined and dined they will whine and pine

Our purpose is to teach people how to: 1) Love others, 2) Live by faith, 3) be Led of the Spirit

If the pastor's hair is gray, he's too old.
If he is young in appearance, he lacks experience.
If he visits too much, he ought to be in his study.
If he doesn't visit, he's lazy.
If he visits only the poor, he's trying to get recognition for being
spiritual.
If he visits only the wealthy, he's after money.
If he makes suggestions to improve the church, he's a dictator.
If not, he's a figurehead.
If he preaches an hour, he's long-winded.
If he preaches short sermons, he's lazy and doesn't study enough.
If he fails to please everybody, he hurts the church.
If he does please everybody, he has no convictions.
If he gets a large salary, he's getting too much.
If he preaches on financial stewardship, he's only interested in money.
In fact, whatever the pastor does, someone can always tell him how to do it
better!

If your sheep were fed and fat, they wouldn’t be able to squeeze through the fence

PATIENCE

Patience is the ability to count down before blasting off

I wanted to be a doctor but I didn’t have any patience

Patience is the virtue that carries the most wait

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead - Bill McGlashen

Clay turns into stone, stone into precious jewels, but it takes a long time

You can’t force a traffic light to turn green by revving your engine

At the rest restaurant we wait to be seated, wait to order, wait to be served, wait for the food, wait for the check and wait in line to pay, but the other guy is called the “waiter”!

Water and fertilize Chinese bamboo for the first four years and there is little visible growth. But the fifth year it grows to 90-feet. Question…did it grow 90-feet in one year or in five years?

Many a man asks in April a gift of divine fruit that will be ripe only in June

Men begin to perceive [a] need because God is preparing them, but their impatience causes them to press the Lord before the perfect time. For this reason it seems there has always been a doctrinal Ishmael before Isaac or a Saul before David - Rick Joyner

God’s patience reveals how deep is His strength. Impatience is a mark of weak faith - Keith Moore

PEACE

Though I am always in haste, I am never in a hurry - John Wesley

Order marches with weighty and measured strides. Disorder is always in a hurry - Napoleon

No God, No Peace - Know God, Know Peace!

How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterward - Spanish Proverb

If there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person. If there is beauty in the person, there will be harmony in the house. If there is harmony in the house, there will be order in the nation. If there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world - Chinese Proverb

The cyclone drives its powers from a calm center. So does a person - Norman Vincent Peele

All persons live in one of two tents - content or discontent. Which tent do you live in? - John Maxwell

The peace of God is found in the pace of God

Angels can fly because they carry no burdens - Eileen Freeman

Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are - Chinese Proverb

People who hurry through life are quicker to reach its end

There is also a peace that passes all misunderstanding

God’s in His heaven - all’s right with the world! - Robert Browning

When we step out of our place we step out of our peace

Don't "swat" the samll stuff. Don't let things bug you

PENTECOST

Day of the Law 3,000 died, Day of Pentecost 3,000 came to life

It’s not about where the Holy Ghost broke out first, but where is He breaking out now. I don’t care who had Him...who has Him?

Before Pentecost they were all nerves, after Pentecost they were all nerve. Before Peter was fear-filled, after he was fire-filled. Before he was sifted, after he was gifted

Some Pentecostals are more like pity-costals, penny-costals, petty-costals, party-costals

There can be no Pentecost until after a Passover. It is the blood then the baptism

PEOPLE

Shallow streams always make the most noise

Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, Make Me Feel Important. Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life - Mary Kay Ash

We make a first-class mistake if we treat others as second-class people - John Mason

Keeping up with Joneses is not our real problem; the big problem is trying to pass them

More harm has been done by weak people than by wicked people

If you win their hearts they will give you their hands

PERFECTION

When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target - Geoffrey Fiscer

Perfectionists go to a lot of pains, and give them to everyone else - Barbara Hemphill

Perfection is our goal, excellence will be tolerated - J. Yahl

Perfection consists not in doing extraordinary things, but in doing ordinary things extraordinarily well

Artists who seek perfection in everything are those who cannot attain it in anything - Eugene Delacroix

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

We can spend so much time perfectly tuning the instruments that we never get around to playing the music

Pastor asked if there were anyone in the house who was perfect. A gentleman at the back stood to his feet. “You mean to tell me you think you’re perfect?” asked the pastor. “No, sir, I’m just standing in for my wife’s first husband”.

PERSECUTION

Soon after you get peace within, you get persecution without. If you remain stationary, the devil and his agents will not disturb you much - Smith Wigglesworth

Since we have experienced little religious persecution in this country, it is likely that under pressure many would deny Christ. Those who shout the loudest about their faith may surrender soonest. Many who boast of being courageous would be cowardly. Many who say, 'Though all others deny Christ, yet I will never deny Him,' would be the first to warm their hands at the campfires of the enemy - Billy Graham

PERSISTENCE

It took Orville Redenbacher more than 20 years and 30,000 popcorn hybrids to come up with his fluffier, tastier popcorn.

By perseverance the snail reached the ark - Spurgeon

If you’re going through hell, keep going - Winston Churchill

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win - Mahatma Gandhi

Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did - Newt Gingrich

It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer - Albert Einstein

Paralyze resistance with persistence - Woody Hayes

I am a slow walker, but I never walk backwards - Abraham Lincoln

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't - Henry Ward Beecher

The big shots are only the little shots who keep shooting - Christopher Morley

Failure is the path of least persistence

Many start at the Red Sea and end at the Dead Sea - they started out right but didn’t persist through to the finish, they stagnated

The key to success is to start from scratch and keep on scratching

The heights by great men reached and kept were not obtained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Little strokes fell great oaks - Ben Franklin

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent - Calvin Coolidge

It is a striking fact that it was seven years before Carey baptized his first convert in India. It was seven years before Judson won his first disciple in Burma. Morrison toiled seven years before the first Chinese was brought to Christ; Moffatt waited seven years to see the first movement of the Spirit in Bechuanaland. Henry Richards worked seven years in the Congo before the first convert was gained - A.J. Gordon

The world will always give you the opportunity to quit, but only the world would call quitting an opportunity - Clint Brown

It isn’t the final say so, unless you say so - Joel Budd

The man who wins may have been counted out several times, but he didn’t hear the referee - H.E. Jansen

Stopping on third base nets the same as a strikeout

And many strokes, though with a little axe, hew down and fell the hardest-timbered oak - Shakespeare

PESSIMISM

A pessimist sees life through morose-colored glasses

The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; the optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty - Winston Churchill

Optimist sees a doughnut, pessimist sees the hole

A few years ago Montana State lost ten straight football games. The next year the coach was a little encouraged for they only had nine games scheduled. It was bound to be a better season

No one ever injured his eyesight by looking on the bright side of things

A pessimist is feels bad when he feels good for fear he’ll feel worse when he feels better

The pessimist complains about the wind, the optimist expects it to change; the leader adjusts his sails

Wife said, “It looks like God vacuumed the sky”. Her pessimistic husband said, “Yea, but He will probably dump the vacuum bag tomorrow”

An optimist invented the airplane, a pessimist invented the parachute

A pessimist expects nothing off a silver platter except tarnish

A lot of people become pessimists from financing optimists - C.T. Jones

Pessimist had written on his tombstone, “I expected this”

A pessimist is a person who, regardless of the present, is disappointed in the future

PLANNING

A calendar tells me where I am going, a journal tells me where I have been

The one with the plan is the one with the power

Our company has a short range plan and a long range plan. Our short range plan is to stay afloat long enough to make it to our long range plan

Ask why before how - John Maxwell

Plan your work then work your plan

Four steps to achievement: 1. Plan purposefully. 2. Prepare prayerfully. 3. Proceed positively. 4. Pursue persistently - William A. Ward

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going. Streets are crowded, traffic is jammed - a fire engine is coming; everything makes way for it - William Danforth

The nicest things about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression - Sir John Harvey-Jones

POLITICS

Con is opposite of pro, so Congress would be the opposite of Progress

I’m a Ford, not a Lincoln - Gerald Ford

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators - P.J. O'Rourke

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces - Maureen Murphy

Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices, a rottenness begins in his conduct - Thomas Jefferson

Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong - Richard Armour

Politicians are more concerned in deals than ideals

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it - Clarence Darrow

A straw poll only shows which way the hot air is blowing

The politicians were talking themselves red, white and blue in the face - Clare Booth Luce

There ain't no answer. There ain't gonna be any answer. There never has been an answer. That's the answer - Gertrude Stein

The activist is not the man who says the river is dirty. The activist is the man who cleans up the river – Ross Perot

Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely - Lord Acton

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors - Plato

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation - Henry Kissinger

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen - George MacDonald

They had to build a special bicycle for Clinton - it only backpedaled

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks - Doug Larson

In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant - Charles de Gaulle

“Poly” means many and “ticks” are blood-sucking varmints

All the president is, is a glorified public relations man who spends his time flattering, kissing, and kicking people to get them to do what they are supposed to do anyway - Harry Truman

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book - Ronald Reagan

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first - Ronald Reagan

Politicians often brag that they are beefing up the economy. Obviously they don’t know beef from pork

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat! - Will Rogers

Politicians like diapers should be changed often and for the same reason - Cecil Todd

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so - Gore Vidal

He who knows how to flatter also knows how to slander - Napoleon

James Garfield/1877 wrote, “Now more than ever before, the people are responsible for the character of Congress. If that body be ignorant, reckless and corrupt, it is because the people tolerate ignorance, recklessness and corruption. If it be intelligent, brave and pure, it is because the people demand these high qualities to represent them in the national legislature...if the next centennial does not find us a great nation...it will be because those who represent the enterprise, the culture, and the morality of the nation do not aid in controlling the political forces”

The difference between politics and baseball; in baseball when you get caught stealing your really are “out”

Politics is more dangerous than war, for in war you are only killed once - Winston Churchill

Obama's health care plan will be written by a committee whose head, John Conyers, says he doesn't understand it. It'll be passed by Congress that has not read it, signed by a president who smokes, funded by a Treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes, overseen by a Surgeon General who is obese, and financed by a country that's nearly broke. What could possibly go wrong? - Rush Limbaugh

One thing our Founding Fathers could not foresee...was a nation governed by professional politicians who had a vested interest in getting reelected. They probably envisioned a fellow serving a couple of hitches and then looking...forward to getting back to the farm - Ronald Reagan

I'm just a citizen temporarily in public service - Ronald Reagan

It's hard, when you're up to your armpits in alligators, to remember you came here to drain the swamp - Ronald Reagan

When you start talking about government as "we" instead of "they," you have been in office too long - Ronald Reagan

If the present Congress errs in too much talking, how can it be otherwise in a body to which the people send one hundred and fifty lawyers, whose trade it is to question everything, yield nothing, and talk by the hour? - Thomas Jefferson

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress - Ronald Reagan

Politicians run for something but there are no statesmen that stand for something - Vance Havner

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think - Milton Berle

Political speeches are like steer horns. A point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between - Alfred E. Neuman

Politicians are always either running for office or running for cover

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Democrat came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Democrat was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Democrats lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the Democrats who run it

Wherever politics tries to be redemptive, it is promising too much. Where it wishes to do the work of God, it becomes not divine but demonic - Pope Benedict

When you put the clowns in charge, don’t be surprised if a circus breaks out

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors - Plato

Obama is our first real green president. He wants green jobs, putting greens and our green money - Greg Gutfeld

We need to quit worrying about the left and right and start concerning ourselves with above and below

During his 1956 presidential campaign, a woman called out to Adlai Stevenson: "Senator, you have the vote of every thinking person!" Stevenson called back: "That's not enough, madam, we need a majority!"

JFK forever inoculated himself from charges that he was coasting to election on his family fortune, reading a mock telegram from his father: “Dear Jack: Don’t buy a single vote more than is necessary. I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay for a landslide”

In politics scum rises to the top - F. Hayak

POPULATION

World population grows by a quarter million a day

Out of 6,100 languages in the world over half do not have 1 verse of scripture and only 1 in 10 have a complete New Testament

POSITIVE TALK

A loaf of bread has two “ends”, why not call them two “beginnings”?

Stoplights could be called go-lights. They are green half the time

Guy has a wreck and we call in a wrecker. He is wrecked enough already

Market takes a turn and we call the “broker”. The guy is broke enough already

An alarm clock could be called an “opportunity” clock. Alarms are designed to scare people. Who wants to begin everyday with a scare? If you hear the clock you can get up and go, if you don’t hear it you may have got up and went

Why call it a weekend instead of a strong end?

When you accentuate the positive, you will eliminate the negative. When you turn the light on, the darkness goes - Billy Joe Daugherty

POSSIBILITY

Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said can’t be done - Sam Ewing

George Lucas, regarding The Phantom Menace episode of Star Wars said he was learning “the difference between the impossible and the merely never-before-done-or-imagined”

I think there is a world market for about five computers - Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943

Never tell a young person that something cannot be done. God may have been waiting centuries for somebody ignorant enough of the impossible to do that thing - John Andrew Holmes

Make your plans ten times as great as you first planned, and twenty-five years from now you will wonder why you did not make them fifty times as great - Henry Curtis

The world would stop if it were run by men who say it can’t be done!

POTENTIAL

We need to rise to our highest potential. The guy being chased by a tiger was in a predicament. It was 12 foot to the nearest branch. He jumped and missed it, but all was well, he caught it on the way down

If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints; possibility never - Soren Kierkegaard

All of us are born musicians. Many of us pass off this earthly scene, however, with much of our beautiful music still buried deep in side of us, unplayed and unsung. Don't let that happen to you. Like a geode, open yourself up and let all that latent potential shine - Grant M. Bright

Doctors said no one would ever break Johnny Wuessmiller’s 50 swimming records. Now, thirteen year-olds are breaking those records

To see a plow horse running a race or a race horse pulling a plow are both pathetic pictures

Man can count the number of seeds in an apple but only God can count the number of apples in a seed

Discover your potential, Dedicate your potential, Develop your potential, Direct your potential

Learn something new. Try something different. Convince yourself that you have no limits - Brian Tracy

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us - Emerson

If I have within me the stuff to make cocoons, maybe the stuff of butterflies is there too - Trina Paulus

When a man has put a limit on what he will do he has put a limit on what he can do - Charles Schwab

Never tell a young person that something cannot be done. God may have been waiting for centuries for somebody ignorant enough of the impossible to do that thing - J.A. Holmes

Almost everything comes from almost nothing - Henri Amiel

Which would you rather have, a bouquet of flowers or a packet of flower seeds?

Men are developed the same way that gold is mined. Several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold. But you don’t go into the mine looking for dirt. You go looking for gold - Andrew Carnegie

Any fool can count the seeds in an apple. Only God can count all of the apples in one seed - Robert Schuller

POWER

Laying empty hands on empty heads - Kenneth Hagin

Instead of God’s man of faith and power I often feel like God’s man of paste and flour

Peter had more power going TO prayer than most having coming FROM prayer

Don’t seek God’s power, seek His presence. Where His presence is His power will automatically follow

It’s not enough to have programs, pep, propaganda, professionalism, polish, puff and persona - we need power

John the Baptist preached that Jesus was both the Lamb and the Baptizer. Go to the Lamb for purity, to the Baptizer for power

Our efficiency without His sufficiency is deficiency - Leonard Ravenhill

I was watching an electrician install a complex control panel. I said to the man, “It just amazes me how you fellows can calmly work on those lines with all of that power there. How do you do it?” The electrician smiled and said, “Well, the first thing you have to do is respect it. Then you can handle it” - Warren Wiersbe

We tap into so little of the power that God has available for our lives. Most believers are like the fellow with a 4-wheel drive pickup who never used the capability that was there, but rather drove from one car wash to the next, shiny, polished and looking good, but never testing the power that was there under the hood

There are probably some things in the Kingdom we can accomplish without power but it sure takes a lot of sweat and work. You know, a lady can blow dry her hair without plugging the blow-dryer into the socket, but man she has to whip that thing fast to get it to generate enough wind to do anything!

Imagine Ezekiel posing for a photo session with his dry bones, or counting his dry bones to put on his ministerial report, or bragging to other preachers at the convention about how many dry bones he runs. Face it, the number of dry bones you are pastor over is nothing to glory in

We need to discover, recover and uncover the power of God - John Davis

Influence and power are not the same thing. Lot had influence but Abraham had power; Ahab had influence but Elijah had power; Saul had influence but David had power; Nicodemus had influence but Jesus had power

God has to strip us before He can strengthen us, humble us before He honors us, crush us before He crowns us, crucify us before He credentials us, empty us before He empowers us, prepare us before He promotes us

God’s promise presented by God’s preacher produces God’s power

You don’t turn Cub Scouts loose with nuclear weapons or a Stealth Bomber. Why then do we expect God to turn the Spirit’s Almighty power over to the hands of whiny, immature, un-sanctified believers just because they think they want it?

God doesn’t call those who are qualified; He qualifies those who are called

He found me, he forgave me, he freed me, he fixed me, he fed me, he fueled me and he filled me

Tradition says that Saint Paul was only 4’6” tall. If that’s so then he was the biggest dwarf that ever lived. That’s a petite pioneer Pentecostal powerhouse. As many miles as he traveled for Jesus you could call him a “wandering Jew”. His life proves that mighty power can come in a tiny package

The Spirit delegates power then demonstrates power

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power - Abraham Lincoln

I must remember that it is not by enticing words of man’s wisdom that men are saved. It’s by power, not poetics. I have a case full of classy classic clichés cluttered with memorized mesmerizing masterpiece mutterings and threaded throughout with thrilling theological thought, but that can never be enough in itself

We seek God for added power but with no bigger plans than most men have, why would He need to send it?

Are you plugged in to a 12-volt system when you can be plugged in to God’s 220 current? Read Galatians 2:20 for more information

Like the priests, we believers are to be called, clothed, cleansed, consecrated, christened, conditioned and commissioned

The church is too often man-managed rather than God-governed and Lord-led. Never have we had more equipment but never have we had less enduement

We must have the purging, urging, surging power of God

Some days you’re digging holes. Some days you’re planting poles. Some days you’re stringing wire. And then one day the circuit is completed, and you make contact! - B.J. Wilhite, prayer minister, Church on the Rock

It is wired up from heaven and when we make proper contact we get a shock. But if we stay in contact we get a charge! - Vance Havner

If every person in the world drew on the power of God at one time, the lights in heaven wouldn’t even flicker - Keith Moore

The believer is a glove but there is no power until a hand is inserted. He is a wire but there is no power until voltage is released. He is a bulb but there is no light until the bulb is screwed in. Too many are screwed up instead of being screwed in!

PRACTICE

You can map out a fight plan or a life plan. But when the action starts, you’re down to your reflexes. That’s where your roadwork shows. If you cheated on that in the dark of the morning, you’re getting found out now under the bright lights - Joe Frazier

Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect - Vince Lombardi

A lifetime of training for just ten seconds - Jesse Owens

I hated every minute of training, but I said, "Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion” - Muhammad Ali

If I miss one day of practice, I notice it. If I miss two days, the critics notice it. If I miss three days, the audience notices it - Jan Paderewski

For every pass I caught in a game, I caught a thousand in practice - Don Hutson

I am not scared of the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks, I am scared of the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times - Bruce Lee

PRAISE

God never forgets anyone that makes Him feel good - Mike Murdock

Prayers and praises go in pairs; they have praises who have prayers

When life turns up the pressure, turn up the praise

Satan is allergic to praise, so where there is massive triumphant praise, Satan is paralyzed, bound and banished - Paul Billheimer

It is possible to have our chronology right (history) and theology right (doctrine) without having our doxology right (praise)

Praise destroys the atmosphere in which sickness, defeat, discouragement and futility flourish. Praise beats out hell’s brush fires. Praise breathes heaven’s life into the vacuum death produces on earth - Jack Hayford

PRAYER

Everyone is called to be an usher; we are to usher in revival through prayer

Even God cannot answer a prayer that has not been prayed. The tragedy is not unanswered prayer but un-offered prayer

Peter and John felt a need to go to a three o’clock prayer meeting even though they had seen the risen Lord, experienced the power of Pentecost and watched Jesus’ miracles

In a designated prayer time you can expect God, but God can also expect you

Jesus prayed twelve hours to choose twelve men (Luke 6:12)

You can do more than pray after you’ve prayed, but you cannot do more than pray until you have prayed - John Bunyan

You pay God a compliment by asking great things of Him - St. Teresa of Avila

The preacher that is not praying is playing, the church that is not praying is straying - Ravenhill

Prayer is to the believer what capital is to the businessman - Ravenhill

We ought to see the face of God before we see the face of man. Enter into the closet with God before we enter the conflict for God. Go into the private place with God before we go into the public place for God - R.G. Lee

Your knees won’t knock if they kneel

The Lord Jesus is still praying. Thirty years of living, thirty years of serving. One tremendous act of dying; nineteen hundred years of prayer. What an emphasis on prayer! - S.D. Gordon

We can hinder our own family’s salvation by getting self in the way - prodding instead of praying

We have too many prayer worriers rather than prayer warriors

My faith sustains me because I pray daily. I pray for guidance and wisdom and strength....One thing that's really great about our country, is there are thousands of people who pray for me that I'll never see and be able to thank. But it's a humbling experience to think that people I will never have met have lifted me and my family up in prayer. And for that I'm grateful - George W. Bush

The Christian on his knees sees farther and clearer than the world on their tiptoes

Prayer is the only omnipotence God will ever grant a human being - R.A. Torrey

I am a man of prayer. I will be knocked no lower than my knees - TD Jakes

Trying to have revival without prayer is like trying to put out a Kansas prairie fire with a one-man bucket brigade. Trying to have revival without prayer is like trying to sail the Atlantic on a maple leaf, trying to run a corporation on a 9-volt battery, trying to put out the sun with a garden hose or trying to stop a hurricane with a funeral fan

We must plead or we must perish. It is Pentecost or holocaust - revival or removal - no other options

Today’s church leaders are men of standing when they used to be men of kneeling

Prayer is not conquering God’s reluctance, but taking hold of God’s willingness - Phillips Brooks

Prayer is striking the winning blow...Service is gathering up the results - S.D. Gordon

I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go - Abraham Lincoln

Heaven is full of answers to prayer for which no one ever bothered to ask - Billy Graham

Our mega-corporation size churches now have a Minister of Music, Minister of Visitation, Minister of Education, Minister of Youth and so on, but why isn’t there a Minister of Prayer? That’s the greatest need of any church

God’s phone number is Jeremiah 33:3

Joel pleaded for a sweeping revival. A leaping revival and a reaping revival, but knew it had to first be a weeping revival

He told us to “weep between the porch and the altar”. He didn’t say “the Porsche and the altar

Joel also told us to “howl all night” to the Lord. That’s a call for night owls and night howls

Praying in school will prevent slaying in school

We have a lot of all night gospel sings but how often is there an all night prayer meeting?

The walls of the Christian bookstore are papered with posters for the latest Christian Rock Concert but where is the poster advertising an all night prayer meeting?

Revival delays when prayer decays

Prayer is a great detergent for sin and a great deterrent from sin, for notice that we never pray for people we gossip about and we never gossip about people that we pray for

A praying man won’t sin and a sinning man won’t pray - Leonard Ravenhill

Your prayers should not be just a wish-list, make them a work-list

We lie to God in prayer when we do not rely on God in prayer

In today’s church we do a lot of marrying, carrying and burying but not much tarrying. Jesus told us to "tarry ye until ye are endued with power from on high..."

The church needs to go to our knees in prayer, to our feet in praise, then to the streets in proclamation

Pentecost comes through persistent praying, powerful preaching, purposeful perseverance and painful persecution

Prayers made on the bank of heaven are cashed at the window of prayer

If we do not bow our knee before God, we will bow our knee before a dictator - Cecil Todd

If somebody said, give me a summary of the Christian faith on the back of an envelope, the best thing to do would be to write our Lord’s Prayer - Rowan Williams, Archbishop of Canterbury

Our life has a great influence on our prayer; just as our prayer influences our life - Andrew Murray

A severe apprenticeship in the trade of praying must be served in order to become a journeyman in it - E.M. Bounds

Man makes the pleas and God makes the answer. The plea and the answer compose the prayer - E.M. Bounds

If the skeleton and outline of our prayers be by habit, almost a form, let us strive that the clothing and filling up of our prayers be as far as possible of the Spirit - Bishop J.C. Ryle

Is it without significance that Elijah prayed seven times - the number of perfection and fullness - while Abraham stopped at six times, the number of human frailty? - Jack Taylor

We hear a good deal of praying that is just exhorting God, and if you did not see the man’s eyes closed, you would suppose that he was preaching. Much that is called prayer is not prayer at all. There needs to be more petition in our prayers - D.L. Moody

Unanswered prayers are dumb oracles which leave the praying ones in darkness, doubt and bewilderment, and which carry no conviction to the unbeliever - E.M. Bounds

We are to ask with a beggar’s humility, seek with a servant’s carefulness, and knock with the confidence of a friend

Prayer reaches its highest level when offered in the Name which is above every name, for it lifts the petitioner into unity and identity with Himself - Samuel Chadwick

Prayer in its magnitude is length without end, width without bounds, height without top, and depth without bottom - Homer W. Hodge

Not to pray about temporal matters is to leave God out of the largest sphere of our being - E.M. Bounds

Every morning I get on a running track in the Spirit, and I circle that track. I know when I’m one-fifth of the way through, two-fifths, four-fifths and then, finally, I know when I’m done. Then, if I have time, I run it again and again, just as a runner would circle a track - Paul Cho

Prayer is the slender nerve that moveth the muscles of omnipotence - Charles Spurgeon

True prayer is God the Holy Spirit talking to the Father in the name of God the Son, and the believer’s heart is the prayer-room - Samuel Zwemer

Is prayer your spare tire or your steering wheel? - Corrie Ten Boom

I have never come to a time of prayer but that it has been a struggle - Horatius Bonar

We should commune with the Father in the closet before we communicate with the world from the pulpit

There are four ways God answers prayer: no, not yet; no, I love you too much; yes, I though you’d never ask; yes, and here’s more - Ann Lewis

We used to sing “Sweet Hour of Prayer”, now we are asking people to have “a word of prayer” - Paul Cho

There is prayer that goes beyond the talk, beyond the tongues, even beyond the tears, to the target - the heart of God

A strict belief in fate is the worst kind of slavery; on the other hand, there is comfort in the thought that God will be moved by our prayers - Epicurus

A prayer in its simplest definition is merely a wish turned God-ward - Phillips Brooks

The Lord’s Prayer contains the sum total of religion and morals - Wellington

Bending our knees helps us square our shoulders and engage our feet

You are a recipient in prayer only if you are a participant in prayer

“Oh God, I am bombarding the gate of heaven”, cried Kenneth Copeland, to which the Lord asked, “Do you know how big New Jerusalem is?” “Yes, 1,500 miles square!” “Considering that My throne is at the center and you are knocking at the gates at the outer edge, you are 750 miles off!”

Bending the knees serves to square the shoulders then propel the feet

Go to the throne before you go to the phone

PREACHING

The preacher who will not preach his heart out for a few people is not fit to preach before a mass of people

Some preachers have something to say, others just have to say something

It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching - St. Francis of Assisi

“Secondhand smoke” - preaching someone else’s material

In college they call it plagiarism, in ministry we call it research - Van Crouch

Pastor was giving five of his students five minutes each to preach. One kid said, “I can’t preach in 5 minutes; it takes me 30 to get warmed up”. So the pastor said, “Go out in the hallway and preach for 30 minutes then I’ll call you in”

We need preachers who classify, clarify and crucify sins

Pastor advised his young preachers, “Quit trying to preach something that no one else has preached. If no one else has preached it there must be a reason”

When the population of Boston was 12,000 George Whitefield drew crowds every night of 14,000, without cars or buses

Others try to ooze ossified orthodoxy

We’re not called to deliver sermons but to deliver captive souls

Quit rowing the boat and start rocking it!

Still others “mutter monotonous monologues of ministerial mush” - R.G. Lee

We need preaching that incites, ignites and excites

Ecclesiastical clutter, denominational butter, pastoral mutter, evangelistic strutter and stutter

A sermon wept over is more acceptable with God than one gloried over - Charles Spurgeon

We have today what are called “preaching machines”, epileptic jawbones who can generate a spiritual cyclone. But remember, no one has ever been blown into the kingdom. Men are won by Christ, not by wind

We have too much hot air and not enough rushing mighty wind!

Read and reread your text. Taste it like a hummingbird after nectar. Wrestle with it like a dog after a bone. Chew on it like a cow does her cud - Bill Bennett

Stay true to your text. It is better to be clear than to be clever

A preacher ought to have enough education so people won’t look down on him and just enough education so he won’t look down on people

The Pharisees were just a big bunch of Bible bangers. Like theirs, many reach into their sanctified sack of sacerdotal semantics to put together a sermon

All work and no plagiarism makes for dull sermons! - Henry Ward Beecher

Preach as if you had seen heaven and its celestial inhabitants, and had hovered over the bottomless pit, and beheld the tortures, and heard the groans of the damned - Frances Asbury

I preach as though Christ was crucified yesterday; rose again from the dead today; and is coming back tomorrow - Martin Luther

I preach as never sure to preach again, and as a dying man to dying men - Richard Baxter

John Wesley said, "Catch on fire with enthusiasm, and people will come for miles to watch you burn." Wesley also said, "If I had three hundred men who feared nothing but God, hated nothing but sin, and were determined to know nothing among men but Jesus Christ and him crucified, I would set the world on fire"

Bees gather honey from a lot of flowers and so preachers need to gather spiritual nectar from a lot of sources

We don’t explain the gospel - we proclaim the gospel

No matter what my text is, I make a beeline to the cross - Spurgeon

Sometimes the preacher uses the pulpit to preach good chidings rather than good tidings - John Stott

What some are preaching is not grace but is gross. There are those who have preached such a free grace that it has become a disgrace

We need a message for this mess-Age

We have too many icy, spicy, nicey sermonettes for Christianettes smoking cigarettes, driving corvettes, asleep in bassinets, standing like statuettes or doing pirouettes like Rockettes

We need messages rich in content, intent and extent

The Lord said, “I will make thee a new sharp threshing instrument having teeth...” (Isa 41:15) We need to ask the divine Dentist for a new set of spiritual teeth

There is too much shame and too much sham in the pulpit today

Some preachers today don’t have enough backbone to get a chiropractic adjustment!

If you haven’t struck oil in the first three minutes, stop boring – George Jessel

We now have religious joke tellers administering intellectual laughing gas for the painless extraction of the sinner’s guilt - R.G. Lee

We’ve preached so much sugar and spice and everything’s nice that we’ve given the body of Christ a bad case of spiritual sugar diabetes - Don Brankel

Preachers used to say “You are lost, you are lost, you are lost”, now they just say, “You are loved, you are loved, you are loved

Good preaching is art work, heart work and hard work

If I sat in the pew and you were up here preaching there are four questions I would ask that you answer satisfactorily before you could win me. First: Are you kindly disposed to me? Second: Do you want to help me? Third: Do you know what you are talking about? Fourth: Do you practice what you preach? – Billy Sunday

The crusade charade

The abominable showman

Too many three-point sermons have a beginning, a muddle and an ending. Also there are a lot of three-point sermons that go like this - 1) he took a text, 2) he departed there from, 3) he never returned

Preaching today has become soothing when it should be seething. We need red-faced preachers once again who will classify sins, clarify sins and crucify sins. We are called to be the salt of the earth and not the sugar of the earth. The message that always sings but never stings must be avoided at all costs

Salt purifies and seasons but it also irritates

The modern pulpit has become a forum for current events, book reviews, fireside chats and evening vespers

Our pulpits are loaded today with puppets rather than prophets

Much of our preaching is just the convinced trying to convince the convinced

Preaching today is ecclesiastical clutter, denominational butter, pastoral mutter, evangelistic strutter and gospel stutter. Meanwhile men are in the gutter. We need the gift of utterance, not mutter-ance

The preacher holds his spiritual birth certificate in one hand and natural death certificate in the other

Stand up, speak up then shut up!

Good preaching is art-work, heart-work and hard work

I have often heard a better preacher but I have never heard a preacher better

To fail to learn from the pulpit of the past is to impoverish that of the present - Tony Sargent

There are many who think they must only preach the Word, and that the Spirit will make the Word fruitful. They do not understand that it is the Spirit, in and through the preacher, who will bring the Word to the heart - Andrew Murray

Prophesying to the bones, that is preaching...prophesying to the Spirit, “Come, O Spirit”, that is prayer - Andrew Murray

Too many animated question marks are standing in pulpits…and…too few living exclamation points. A new theological breeze has begun to blow and a new virus is in the air - Vance Havner

Some churches need not a new preacher, but the same preacher renewed - Vance Havner

The eloquent man is he who is no beautiful speaker, but who is inwardly and desperately drunk with a certain belief - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The business of the prophet is to fill the pulpit, not the pews…It is not our business to make the message acceptable, but to make it available. We are not out to make them like it, but to see that they get it - Vance Havner

The best way to sound like you know what you're talking about is to know what you're talking about

The nature of oratory is such that there has always been a tendency among politicians and clergymen to oversimplify complex matters.  From a pulpit or a platform even the most conscientious of speakers finds it very difficult to tell the whole truth - Aldous Huxley

What feeds men’s souls is not our trimmings, but God’s truth - Vance Havner

The preacher is a soloist, not an accompanist

In speaking, be sincere, be succinct, be seated

Why doesn't the fellow who says, "I'm no speechmaker," let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration? - Ken Hubbard

The watchdogs have become lapdogs

Pastor was offended by lad being asleep during his sermon. He said to the boy’s mother, “Sister, wake your boy up”. She said, “Pastor, you wake him up, you put him to sleep”

What too many orators want in depth, they give you in length - Montesquieu

"I have heard many great orators", said Louis XIV to Massilon, "and have been highly pleased with them; but when I hear you, I go displeased with myself". This is the highest enconium that could be bestowed on a preacher - C. Simmons

The pulpiteer of our time is expected to enlighten the mind rather than enliven the conscience - Leonard Ravenhill

The sermon is the house, the illustrations are the windows that let the light in - Charles Spurgeon

PREJUDICE

11:00 to 12:00 on Sunday morning is the most segregated hour of the week. We need to work on unity of races as well as faces. If you have a skin problem you have a sin problem. Prejudice has to be dealt with before revival will come

Miriam chided with Moses over marrying a black Ethiopian girl. God said, “You like white so much, take this” and he became a leper “white as snow”

Laundry is the only thing that should be separated by color

Skin color means nothing more than hair color or eye color - pigmentation is melanin. There is not black and white, there are just different tints and intermixtures - Keith Moore

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character - Martin Luther King

PREPARATION

Spectacular preparation precedes spectacular performance

A seasoned carpenter would say, “Measure twice, saw once”

Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment - Oprah Winfrey

The secret for success in life is for a man to be ready for his time when it comes - Benjamin Disraeli

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining - John Kennedy

Chance favors the mind that is prepared - Louis Pasteur

Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently - William Ward

When planning for a year, plant corn. When planning for a decade, plant trees. When planning for life, plant people - Chinese Proverb

By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail - Ben Franklin

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity

Work as if you were to live a 100 years; pray as if you were to die tomorrow - Benjamin Franklin

Prepare and prevent instead of repair and repent

If I had eight hours to chop down a tree I would spend six of them sharpening my ax - Lincoln

Of the 1500 men, women and children who drowned in the arctic water when the Titanic went down, only a few died because of the collision with the iceberg. Nearly all died because of a lack of preparation...there weren’t enough lifeboats

Failure in preparation is preparation for failure

It’s easier to prepare than to repair

PRESENCE

Don’t seek God’s power, seek His presence. Where His presence is His power is

When you live in the past with its mistakes and regrets, it is hard. I am not there. My name is not I WAS. When you live in the future with its problems and fears, it is hard. I am not there. My name is not I WILL BE. When you live in this moment, it is not hard. I am here. My name is I AM - Helen Mallicoat

I am a most noteworthy sinner, but I have cried out to the Lord for grace and mercy, and they have covered me completely. I have found the sweetest consolation since I made it my whole purpose to enjoy His marvelous Presence - Christopher Columbus

PRESSURE

No pressure, no diamonds - Mary Case

PRIDE

Who can forget that delightful real-life scene of Orson Wells striding importantly down the aisle of the Geary Theater for the premier of "Citizen Kane", only to collapse in laughter as an anonymous voice observed loudly from the audience: "There, but for the grace of God, goes God!"

Let him who often toots his own horn take heed lest his battery runs down

A Texan landed in Sydney, Australia, and was picked up by a taxi. After requesting a tour of the city, he started a tirade about the small-town airport, and how in Texas they have larger runways on their ranches. As the man crossed the Sydney Bridge, he said, "I have a duck pond bigger than that harbor and an ornamental bridge to span it that makes this look like a toy." As they drove on the Sydney-Newcastle Expressway, the man said, "Is this a road or a track?" Finally, a kangaroo jumped in front of the taxi. The driver slammed on the brakes and exclaimed, "Stupid grasshoppers!" - THE ROTARIAN, 12/99

An egotist has been defined as a guy who is always "me deep" in conversation

The proud man is always letting off a bunch of esteem

Cocky young preacher went up to the pulpit with a swagger but bombed out and came down from the pulpit in shame. Older saint on the front pew said, “If you would’ve went up the way you came down, you could’ve came down the way you went up”

PRIDE - Personal Responsibility In Daily Effort

God is not out to hurt our pride - He’s out to kill it!

An egotist is a self-made man who is in love with his creator

A postage stamp stuck on itself is useless

Is your favorite letter “I”?

Those who sing their own praises seldom get an encore - John Mason

When you are on a high-horse, the best thing to do is dismount at once - John Mason

The fellow who is in love with himself should get a divorce or at least break up

The bigger a man’s head gets, the easier it is to fill his shoes - Henry Courtney

There is Pride of pace (I’m going faster than you), Pride of Face (I’m prettier than you), Pride of Race (my color is most favorable), Pride of Grace (my denomination is better than yours)

To be vain of one's rank or place, is to show that one is below it - Stanislaus

Of all marvelous things, perhaps there is nothing that angels behold with such supreme astonishment as a proud man - Colton

PRIORITIES

He is a wise man that wastes no energy on pursuits for which he is not fitted; and he is wiser still who from among the things he can do well, chooses and resolutely follows the best - William Gladstone

If you want to do something really big that involves a lot of people, you need to narrow your focus to a few people. That may not seem to make sense…Great things aren’t achieved by the crowd. They’re accomplished by the core. If you think huge, you need to learn to act narrow - John Maxwell

Prioritize the schedule, schedule the priority

PROBLEMS

Your problem is not your problem - John Maxwell

The devil wants to use problem people as weapons to tear you down but God wants to use them as tools to build you up - Warren Wiersbe

Problems/ Predictor - Reminder - Opportunity - Blessing - Lesson - Everywhere - Messages - Solvable

Instead of asking, “How can I get out of this?” ask, “What can I get out of this?” - Warren Wiersbe

The heart of the problem is almost always the problem of the heart

Without order nothing can exist; without chaos nothing can evolve

You can go to anyone on the street and say, “I heard about your problem”, they’ll respond, “Who told you?”

The Problem leads to the Promise which leads to the Promotion. How long you remain in the problem depends on your attitude during the problem. Israel flunked Third Grade over and over and had to keep walking around the same mountain

What life does to us depends on what life finds in us - Warren Wiersbe

Don’t put water in your boat, the storm will put plenty there by itself

A problem well stated is a problem half solved - Charles F. Kettering

You are more likely to talk your way into a problem than talk your way out of one

You never conquer a mountain. Mountains can’t be conquered; you conquer yourself, your hopes your fears - Jim Whitaker/ first American to reach the summit of Mt. Everest

Turn problems into projects…sorrows into servants…difficulties into dividends…obstacles into opportunities…tragedies into triumphs…stumbling blocks into stepping stones…adversities into adventures - Robert Schuller

Before it can be solved, a problem has to be clearly defined

Occasionally we talk of our Christianity as something that solves problems, and there is a sense in which it does. Long before it does so, however, it increases both the number and intensity of the problems - Elton Trueblood/ Quaker philosopher

The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem - Theodore Rubin

The bend of the road is not the end of the road

Don’t fix the blame, fix the problem!

It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer - Albert Einstein

You will only be remembered for two things, the problems you solve and the problems you create - Mike Murdock

You have an assignment to a person, a place and a problem - Mike Murdock

Your worth to your boss is determined by the kind of problems you solve for him - Mike Murdock

They say the squeaky wheel is the one that gets the oil; it may be that the squeaky wheel is the one that gets replaced!

Ruth Bell Graham in her bed-ridden state has a sign on her door that says, “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve been” (not, the trouble I’ve seen)

Don’t walk into barracuda infested waters if you’re not willing to be chewed on - Vance Havner

Problems in ministry will present you with two opportunities: the opportunity to glorify God or the opportunity to glorify yourself - Warren Wiersbe

Don’t tell your God how big your problem is; tell your problem how big your God is!

Enemies are not walls, they are doors to your next season - Mike Murdock

Idealism increases in direct proportion to one’s distance from the problem - John Galsworthy

There is a world of difference between a person who has a big problem and a person who makes a problem big - John Maxwell

If you can’t do something about it, then it’s not a problem, it’s a predicament - John Maxwell

Obstacles will look large or small to you according to whether you are large or small - Orison Swett Marsden, founder of Success Magazine

PROCRASTINATION

Someone who stands still never has to worry about stubbing his toe

Procrastination is our ability to keep up with yesterday

Procrastination is the poorest nation in the world

A wise person does at once, what a fool does at last. Both do the same thing; only at different times - Lord Acton

Tomorrow is the busiest day of the year

Comic J. Scott Homan said he’s been trying to get into shape doing 26 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like much, but you can only hit the snooze button so many times

Tomorrow is a road that leads to the house of never

Noah didn’t wait for his ship to come in - he built one - John Mason

“Some day” is not a day of the week - John Mason

One of these days is none of these days

PROFANITY

When a man uses profanity to support an argument, it indicates that either the man or the argument is weak - probably both

PROGRESS

I walk slowly, but I never walk backwards - Abraham Lincoln

Don’t tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done - James Ling

Deacon always obstructed the pastor’s plans saying, “we’re not making much progress but we are very established”. He saw the deacon out in the field with mud to the axles of his tractor, flinging mud every which way. Pastor rolled down the window and hollered, “Brother, you’re not making much progress but it looks like you’re very established!”

We need to preach more against lodges - churches are lodged all over America and need dislodged!

Forget about style; worry about results - Bobby Orr

Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.

I’ll go anywhere as long as it is forward - David Livingstone

PROMISES (of God)

Promises are God’s golden fruit to be plucked by the hand of prayer - E.M. Bounds

“Remember the word unto thy servant, on which thou hast made me to hope,” is most prevalent pleading. It is a double argument: it is Thy Word, wilt thou not keep it? Why hast thou spoken of it if Thou wilt not make it good? Thou hast caused me to hope in it; wilt thou disappoint the hope which Thou hast Thyself begotten in me? - Charles Spurgeon

You can take the Bible to the bank but it’s far wiser to take the bank to the Bible

PROMOTION

A life without warfare is a life without spoil. Until Goliath came David was only a shepherd - Mike Murdock

Your worth to your boss is determined by the kinds of problems you solve - Mike Murdock

God will never promote you until you become over-qualified for your current assignment - Mike Murdock

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted

PROPHETS

The prophet is today’s villain, tomorrow’s hero. He hears epithets today, epitaphs tomorrow. He is cannonaded today, canonized tomorrow. He lives before men for days but before God for years.

Prophets are ordained of God but disdained by men. He announces, pronounces and denounces

The Lord isn’t just looking for trouble-shooters, He’s looking for trouble-makers, those who will trouble the waters

John was a voice crying in the wilderness, not an echo

When he is the life of the party it will be the death of the prophet

I go forth to preach with two propositions in mind. First- that every one ought to give their heart to Christ. Secondly- even if no one gives their heart to Christ, I will give Him mine - Jonathan Edwards

PROSPERITY

When 5 loaves were given Christ multiplied them 1000-fold/ five fed five thousand

His first point on His first sermon to His first crowd (Luke 4:18) had to do with conquering poverty

Jesus had twelve full-time staff employees and had a treasurer. You don’t need a treasurer if there isn’t a substantial cash flow

Jesus used a donkey that had never been rode before, so we can own a car that has never been driven before

The Queen of Sheba gave Solomon lots of money. Why? He didn’t need any of it but prosperous people are magnets to money. The draw blessing

The purpose of prosperity is for preparation, not consumption

The Person of Jesus decides your peace but the Principles of Jesus decide your prosperity - Mike Murdock

PSALMS

The Spirit of Jesus dwells in the Psalms - Horatio Bonar

David has been gone from the earth for around three thousand years; three thousand times the earth has circled around the sun since he left us; three thousand times have the wild geese flown honking toward the south and returned again to the north with the returning spring. Empires have come in to being, run their course and disappeared; thrones have toppled; kings have strutted their little day upon the stage of history and lain down at last to be forgotten or almost forgotten...Yet David will not die. He served his generation by the will of God and fell asleep, but asleep he has more power over men for good than a thousand religious doctors and bishops do awake...Scarcely will a church service be held next Sunday anywhere in the world but, unseen, David will direct the choir, and when the minister rises to preach God’s truth he will hardly sit down again until he has spoken of David or quoted from his inspire psalms...Wordsworth was great but he is not worthy to untie the shoelaces of the man David - A.W. Tozer

PSYCHOLOGY

Answering service at psychiatrist’s office said - “If you suffer from a superiority complex dial 1 - low self esteem dial 0 - multiple personality dial 1,2,3,6 + 9 - schizophrenia a little voice inside your head will tell you what to dial - paranoia we already know who you are and what you want so don’t dial anything, we will trace the call - if you are calling for our anger management course just rip the phone out of the wall and all will be well

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist - Tammy Faye Bakker

PURITY

Mary said “I have not known a man”. Not too many Charismatics today can say that

PURPOSE

There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why - William Barclay

The purpose of life is a life of purpose - Robert Byrne

You don’t decide what you are, you discover what you are - Mike Murdock

D. Martyn Lloyd–Jones reported that before the outbreak of the Spanish civil war that country was experiencing such an epidemic of neuroses that psychiatrists could hardly handle them all. But the war, terrible and destructive as it was in most respects, had the unexpected effect of “curing” many of Spain’s thousands of neurotics. When they became concerned about the welfare of their families, friends, and country instead of their own, their neuroses disappeared and hospitals and clinics were almost emptied of such cases - finally they had purpose

The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever - Westminster Shorter Catechism

There comes a special moment in everyone’s life, a moment for which that person was born…When he seizes it…it is his finest hour - Winston Churchill

Things work best when used for their original purpose. Some use pianos for ladders, but a piano works best when played to make music. Your purpose is to make music for God

I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy - Og Mandino

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else - Judy Garland

Be yourself. The world worships the original - Ingrid Bergman

Love what you do. Do what you love - Wayne Dyer

The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives - Albert Schweitzer

The meaning of life is to give life meaning - Ken Hudgins

Outstanding people have one thing in common: an absolute sense of mission - Zig Ziglar

Great minds have purposes, others have wishes - Washington Irving

It is never too late to be what you might have been - George Eliot (By the way, did you know that George Eliot was a woman? Her name was Mary Ann Evans. George Eliot a pen name)

Even if they try to kill you, you develop the inner conviction that there are some things so precious, some things so eternally true that they are worth dying for. And if a person has not found something to die for, that person isn't fit to live! - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Ishmael was a good idea, Isaac was a God idea

What you were born for you were also built for

The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don't like to do. They don't like doing them either necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose - E. M. Gray

You are a child of God. That means that to do anything below what you were created to do will bore you - Mario Murillo

You are not really free until you’ve been made captive by your supreme mission in life - John Mason

If you have a pulse you have a purpose

If you leave your place, you lose your grace - Keith Moore

It’s not for us to decide what we want to be, but to discover what we are to be

When people lose their why they lose their way - Jason Hanash

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